Grip: A Memoir of Fierce Attractions is a honest memoir of the life of it's author Nina Hamburg. Sometimes raw but always open Nina shows us her feelings and experiences with relationships.
A teenage Nina Hamberg lies in her divorced parents' old bedroom, trying to reason with a man who has crept into bed with her and threatened her with a knife. When offering to go to the kitchen and make him a cup of coffee only amplifies his rage, she surprises herself by uttering faintly: "What would your mother say if she could see you now?" He slices her leg and flees.
This encounter leaves her enraged by her own helplessness. Using that helplessness and the feigned concern in her mother toward the incident Hamberg decides to take charge of her own life and present herself as a capable, independent woman. She doesn't hide the effects of her assault, instead she enrolls in a karate class.
Hamberg recounts her experiences with extensive detail and candor, recognizing that such personal insight transforms her work from history to literature. From the silhouetted man lying next to her, who "gave off the heat of a dog's mouth," to the way her father sobbed "like a man in prayer" after cursing at her mother, she describes thoroughly each man in her life, clarifying the impression with which each encumbers her.
Grip is a chronology of Hamberg's lovers, whom she characterizes in detail using both sensory imagery and private anecdotes. She recounts relationships with men who take advantage of her financially, threaten her physically, and cheat on her. Although she submits to the manipulation and allure of individual men, she is conscious of maintaining her own personal integrity. While she may, by some, be considered a woman of abuse I get the feeling that she doesn't see herself in that light.
"All my life, I'd used reason to prevail but crowds had never parted for me before," she writes. "I could see how some people became addicted to their fury." Persistence becomes the weapon that helps release Hamberg from even the most masterful martial arts adversaries.
Hamberg provides insight to demonstrate how she renewed her sense of security within herself. Although weakened at times by the influence of the men in her life she doesn't let it stop her from asserting her own internal strength. Finally she meets a man she whom she doesn't have to prove her strength too and no linger has to prove it to herself either.
As woman who has not suffered abuse by a man I cannot relate to Hamberg in that respect. However as a woman who grew up in the South and having heard a million times that "the man is in charge" I can relate. As a woman whose own sister suffered abuse at the hand of a man I can relate. Grip is a book that all women should read. You come away with a much better understanding of yourself and how you wan your life to be.
Rita's Rating:
A MUST READ!!
