Faith

Faith is such a simple word yet it has so many meanings to so many different people. My faith has been tested and I hope came out stronger although there are still days when I am not so sure. Faith is very different for every religion as well. I was raised Roman Catholic and remain one. My siblings however have gone on to find religion and faith in their churches. We were also allowed to find faith as we saw fit. My father was a devout Catholic but realized that what he was compelled to believe is not necessarily what we as adults are compelled to believe. My younger brother attends what I call a “new age” church. He wears jeans and they play regular music. His church is very popular, they have several campus and several thousand members. My sister attends a Baptist church with her husband. I don’t criticize or knock what they believe, jus as they don’t my beliefs.

I am content with Catholicism although I may not be what you would call a traditional Catholic. I believe in confession, but do not go. My confessions take place usually in the bathroom. For some reason it seems to be the place I converse most openly with God. I think because I am usually completely alone and undistracted. I say the rosary, although not as often as I should. I have at times taken my petitions or prayers to various saints because I live the real world and God is busy.

My belief system is different than most peoples because I feel that it is okay to be angry at God, to yell and scream at him, the same as a spoiled child might do their parents. I think God understands and would most likely slap me if he could. My relationship with God is more than the unseen figure. To me he is very real, whether I can see him or not. I carry on conversations with him the way I would a friend or parent. I ask questions, ask, and beg, whatever I feel. The greatest gift I think my father ever taught me was that it was okay to belief differently than someone else. He always told us to not settle for what other think you should believe, but to follow our own hearts. That if God speaks to us in the bathroom, then he speaks to us in the bathroom. There is no shame, no fear in it.